Get a little magic in your life, time could be short.

Ask God for some magic and promise to be really really good if God shows you enough magic and that he protects you. 
Be a terrorist!  Hahahahaha.
They strait up frame you as a terrorist for looking like you care about things like a God's friend or servant or things like that.
They'll frame you as a child rapist murdering rapist scumbag and try to have the cops kill you and shit.