it's normal wise and healthy to read and meditate, resting and sitting and writing, on what you like and what is pleasant to you.

perhaps you can learn some things you like, such as blasphemous and violent thoughts, are not that pleasant for you and your mental and phsyical health.

Thinking like pleasant childish thoughts like 'save the world, save my family save my neighborhood'.  is very positive for some of hte people I am consulting.

I find it pleasant to think childish thoughts like 'save the world have some demons killed.' 

Lol it's funny. 

I had the best feeling the other week.  I saw this young kid I love and he gave me a smoke and I went away with the smoke promising to love and protect him and join his gang, and I felt this deep warm white glowing sensation around the upper part of my head, and I was like 'is it fine or what, this smoke'.  Then I was lucidly euphoric, the sounds changed, I had perhaps better in a way hearing, things felt better, and everything was smooth. 

Being with my illness is not fun.