Sometimes when I pray for something and ask in Jesus's name it works. No I am not completely aware if it is a coincidence, but it seems like Jesus might have some domination of my personal computer.
For a long time, to get things to work, it seemed like I had to pray and then think the thought "sell my soul to the devil" and mean, "I sold my soul to the devil."
Yes, sometimes to get it to work I had to pray and sell my soul in my head, to the "devil Baal."
Yes I had to do this to open my door for a long time, and it also worked for me to get the answer to the last question of my phsyics exam one time - an exam in which I got 120%.
Is this some intuitive reasoning that the Freemasons are really in control of Canada? Baalzebub is the Boss. The Devil is the boss. Yeah.
All this mentally strange coincidences. Sometimes I found that asking God if I could do something, do demonstrate a fact, or if something could happen, as a sign, then it would happen. For example the handcuffs the lightning bolt, the weird guy Ian Champagne.
Yeah I uh asked God (whatever I thought that was - you know, "God" - is that whatever is listening to our thoughts in this Matrix like universe?) if it was true that God would help me if I was innocent, would God help me escape from jail? Could I break out of a pair of handcuffs, as a sign? (I had seen escape artists on TV). So I broke out of the pair of handcuffs, a couple times. I put that down. Didn't want to be raped tortured murdered for being an escape artist. Haha.
Then there was the question of whether promiscuous gay sex was wrong. I was sort of at the same time asking if Thor was a God or if Thor was originally a Name of God for the Thunderer. So I went and was like "God is Thor a name of God for the Thunderer or a God, and is homosexual promiscuity wrong, can I get a sign of a lightning bolt falling on the queer park down the road if gayness is wrong?" Now I went upstairs a little while later, to the room with the window overlooking the queer park, I felt giddy. I pointed my finger at the gay park and said "Thor" and a lightning bolt fell either on it or behind it, exactly in that direction.
Now I was asking God about whether there were any "good pedophiles" . I was like, hmm, God, what would I say if I were a good pedophile? I'd probably want you to bang my daughter, tell you some story about being rich, help you out, maybe tell you you will go to jail or the hospital if you betray me. Teehheheh. So I go out the next day, and I meet this rather handsome looking fellow on a BMX, we have a smoke. We talk his name is Ian or Champagne or Whatever. He tells me he is rich and he would like to help me write my book. I take his number. I call him later and he gives me this speil about wanting me to make a porno with his daughter and him and that if I don't do it I'll go to jail or the hospital. Uh, was that "the good pedophile"?
I asked God if we could kill this good pedophile, you know the one who gets you to fuck his daughter, jails you and beats you down, I was wondering if we could kill him magically with a lightning bolt. I was wondering if I could be like Darth Sidious, and if Darth Sidious wanted to appear like Obi Wan Kenobi and get me to pitch the lightning bolt at him and his house, set his house on fire, you know, and strike him dead after getting him to come outside. So a day passes.
Now it's very hot, my friends comes over and tell me to come outside... There is this weird storm hovering over the part of the city where Ian lives, just over it, and it's making lightning every 10-20 seconds. Now I speculate this is some secret government project inside my head or that God wants me to go there and pitch the lightning bolt as I had prayed. So I ask God "I don't know if I want to kill him man maybe we can just scare him a lot with his psychosis and the storm! maybe we shoudl kill him... would darth sidious mind appearing and telling me to kill him if that is what God wills?" And then Darth Sidious appeared and said "Kill him".. So I was like, "What is God the Sith, I don't really want to go kill that guy, his house is kind of far, it might be raining over there and I am weak poor guy!" The storm continued for about an hour just hovering over that part of the city pitching silent lightning bolts in quick sucession, then the storm gradually stopped pitching lightning and moved on. I guess I could have killed Ian with a lightning bolt, but was just plain too much of a fucking goof.
Yeah, some insight into getting results from prayer.
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